前几天跟单员小美发信息来求教，今天一早又打电话来求救了，听着她几乎语无伦次的讲述，就算是隔着电话，我仿佛能看到她焦虑的表情。
长话短说，我梳理了一下小美面临的问题：工厂在出货的时候才发现装柜数量与L/C标明的合同数量不一致。小美希望通过和客户沟通，让客户私下里接受这些不符点，而不至于让银行因为不符点而扣款（毕竟银行在信用证不符点的扣款这方面从来都不会手软），但是客户一直都没有回复她的邮件。
于是，我让小美把她写给客户的邮件内容发给我看看。以下是邮件截图：
邮件分析：
首先，在我读来，小美的邮件里的口气并不是着急的；
其次，邮件结尾也没有要求客户回复，看上去就是一封告知情况的邮件而已。
以下是我帮她修改后的邮件：
Dear Elmin,
Hope you are doing well.
Last Friday, we have loaded Order ITF2102.We are sorry to inform you that we found below situation of this loaded container:
1- Due to the container space limited, 22 cartons of 307C -30*50m couldn't be loaded into the container. (Kindly find the loading pictures in the attachment, please.)
2- 2 extra cartons of 45B-48*35m have been loaded into the container.
1- 22 cartons of 307C -30*50m will be shipped together with next order ITF2103. In order to be consistent with the customs declaration for this shipment, the amount of these 22 cartons will be counted in this shipped order ITF2102. And the PI of ITF22102 will not be revised.
2- 2 extra cartons of 45B-48*35m in this container will be free of charge.
Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause. Please inform if our advices work for you. Look forward to your prompt reply.
Sincerely yours,
邮件写作思路分析：
Dear Elmin,
Hope you are doing well.
2-2 extra cartons of 45B-48*35m have been loaded into the container.
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长话短说，我梳理了一下小美面临的问题：工厂在出货的时候才发现装柜数量与L/C标明的合同数量不一致。小美希望通过和客户沟通，让客户私下里接受这些不符点，而不至于让银行因为不符点而扣款（毕竟银行在信用证不符点的扣款这方面从来都不会手软），但是客户一直都没有回复她的邮件。
于是，我让小美把她写给客户的邮件内容发给我看看。以下是邮件截图：
装柜数量与L/C标明的合同数量不一致，给客户发邮件如何写 ...-1.jpg (94.07 KB, 下载次数: 0)
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邮件分析：
首先，在我读来，小美的邮件里的口气并不是着急的；
其次，邮件结尾也没有要求客户回复，看上去就是一封告知情况的邮件而已。
以下是我帮她修改后的邮件：
Dear Elmin,
Hope you are doing well.
Last Friday, we have loaded Order ITF2102.We are sorry to inform you that we found below situation of this loaded container:
1- Due to the container space limited, 22 cartons of 307C -30*50m couldn't be loaded into the container. (Kindly find the loading pictures in the attachment, please.)
2- 2 extra cartons of 45B-48*35m have been loaded into the container.
1- 22 cartons of 307C -30*50m will be shipped together with next order ITF2103. In order to be consistent with the customs declaration for this shipment, the amount of these 22 cartons will be counted in this shipped order ITF2102. And the PI of ITF22102 will not be revised.
2- 2 extra cartons of 45B-48*35m in this container will be free of charge.
Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause. Please inform if our advices work for you. Look forward to your prompt reply.
Sincerely yours,
邮件写作思路分析：
Dear Elmin,
Hope you are doing well.
邮件一开始的问候，会缓和气氛，毕竟接下来要和客户沟通的话题可不是一台愉悦的话题。Last Friday, we have loaded Order ITF2102.
直接说“上周五我们装柜了”，而不是像小美说的，arrange to load，小美的这个说法在这里是不恰当的，“安排去装柜”，请问到底是装了或是没装啊？周五装柜的？或是周五才做的装柜安排？We are sorry to inform you that we found below situation of this loaded container:
这个句子中，我用situation替代了problem，这是陈述一台中性的情况，而不是告诉客户我们这边出现了问题，毕竟装柜出现的数量不符，不是工厂主观意愿的。1- Due to the container space limited, 22 cartons of 307C -30*50m couldn't be loaded into the container. (Kindly find the loading pictures in the attachment, please.)
关于尽量少用problem这个词，我专门写一篇文章：外贸高手沟通小细节，说challenge，不说problem，有什么区别？
2-2 extra cartons of 45B-48*35m have been loaded into the container.
小美写的TO Solve，这个地方是不恰当的，而且O和S字母都大写也是不对的。既然是询问客户是否能接受我们提出的解决方案，就应该使用“suggestion” 或“advice”这类词汇。1- 22 cartons of 307C -30*50m will be shipped together with next order ITF2103. In order to be consistent with the customs declaration for this shipment, the amount of these 22 cartons will be counted in this shipped order ITF2102. And the PI of ITF22102 will not be revised.
这部分内容，原来小美写的就比较Chinglish，我根据她要表达的意思，重写了这段。2- 2 extra cartons of 45B-48*35m in this container will be free of charge.
尽管小美的老板说这两箱额外的货是免费赠送给客户的，我们也不可以用gift这个词啊。gift是礼物，这额外多装进柜子里的两箱货能当礼物吗？Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause. Please inform if our advices work for you. Look forward to your prompt reply.
邮件结尾，先写一句表示道歉的话，如果带来什么不便请原谅，然后再询问客户是否接受我们的建议，最后表明我们需要收到客户的及时回复。Sincerely yours,
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